When Back to School Gets Personal
(The Owner of a Real Estate Company Contemplates an Empty Nest)

 

It’s September and it’s that time when kids are going back to school. After over twenty years of coaching homeowners through the options of empty nesting, this year feels personal.  As mom of a sophomore student/athlete, we are already looking at colleges. With a kid who was born mature beyond her years, I expected this. What I didn’t imagine was how this reality has accelerated conversations with my husband about our own future as empty-nesters.

 

Like most things, I can’t blame it all on the kid. The rest of my family takes some of the credit. Most pivotally, I lost a brother two years ago (I warned you this gets personal). He was 52 and had aggressive cancer. Of course, this has changed my outlook on whether or not retirement, or any day for that matter, is promised. That kind of self-reflection leads to planning for both the present and the future. There is a gift of perspective that comes with the loss for which I am grateful.

 

Life moves on for the whole family. My middle brother has student/athletes of his own. With three kids with sports scholarships to colleges in different states, his life has changed far before his intended retirement. He and his wife have been traveling the country following their games. When they became empty-nesters, they had to work fast to figure out how all the travel would be possible. Wanting a smaller mortgage and less weekend maintenance, they sold the big house (having raised five kids total) and bought a condo.

 

My eldest brother is also changing his nest.  He is not yet of retirement age, but his husband is. Together they pulled up roots and bought a home in a 55 and older community in Arizona. He was able to transfer his job to the new state and has the added benefit of coming home to a swimming pool.

 

Then there is me. I turned 50 this year. So naturally, I also bought a retirement home in Arizona. Slow down, it’s not for me. It’s for my mom, so she can move close to my brother. She has lived with me for the past ten years and helped two hard-working parents take loving care of our two children. She is a wonderful artist and deserves a life of her own. Now that we have teenagers capable of meeting their own needs, we hope we have found her just the place. It’s a milestone for us in many ways. Not just because we will all need to adjust without her care and dinners, but also because buying my mom a home has always been a bucket list item. Never too late to attack that bucket list.

 

So what will my own empty nest look like? As I look forward, retirement isn’t likely for me.  I am a typical Type A. Work fuels me. And my business is the baby that won’t be moving out. So Berkeley Hills Realty’s future is safe and I am grateful to our many clients who add purpose to my day. And that is the path my husband is getting used to. Still, we likely will downsize locally as the equity in our home is our college fund.  I love my home in the hills, but as I get older, smaller and more walkable feel appealing.

 

With all my family changes, I am face to face with all the options out there, sympathizing with my clients in a way I never could in the past. With the loss of a sibling, we have become a family of next-stage fast trackers. I have one brother choosing travel. One brother opting to simplify and float in a pool in Arizona. And a mother who is retiring from her job as a caregiver to be a full-time artist, only as she approaches eighty. And me embracing work-life balance and possibly downsizing. The options are as limitless as the individuals.

 

So are you with me?  Are you thinking of your own next steps? Do you stay in the house you raised your kids in because you may feel a duty to your kids to keep your house exactly as it is for them to return home to, and, someday, to bring their future spouses and children? Or do you start the second phase of your life in a smaller home? Or do your plans take you to an entirely new location? Here are a few things to consider:

 

Stay In Your Home

 

A Place of Your Own

Do something fun and decorate your child’s room to reflect YOUR personality.

This may be the time to finally have your own space to paint the walls ocean blue,  put tropical prints everywhere, buy rattan furniture and play Hawaiian music on a turntable while misting yourself with sea salt. Or create an artist’s space, display your own artwork for once, stencil and paint second-hand furniture and drink tea while enjoying your own art gallery. Turn the room into a “self care” space for reading, meditation or yoga.

 

Redesign and Repurpose 

Turn the room into a guest room and start inviting friends and family to stay and play with you. If local laws permit, you might consider extra income in turning the room into an AirBnB, or just have space where you can invite folks to come enjoy your East Bay life with you for a time. Decorated for guests, the room can serve as a chance to try a bold wall color with funky furniture and unique artwork. Let your inner interior artist free!

 

Sell Your Home And Set Sail 

 

Going Mobile (The Sports-Dad Brother)

My brother down-sized and now can afford plane tickets and time in hotels. But there is another new trend: Imagine the ability to travel from destination to destination without ever having to unpack. That is the beauty of traveling by RV in retirement. According to Kevin Bloom of the Recreation Vehicle Association, somewhere between 750,000 to one million retired Americans have taken up living full-time in an RV. While the reasons may vary, the common denominator for RV-dwelling retirees is often a chance to explore and have an adventure around the country while they still can. RV living provides a way to go visit your kids in college and catch their football game or visit adult children without staying with them in their homes. You can invite your kids and their families to meet you in national parks and campgrounds around the country. You can also follow the seasons and always find a place where you can wear shorts and flip flops. A big perk is the freedom from a mortgage, utility bills, escalating taxes and the responsibilities of homeownership. We have seen some of our friends who set out to explore the country finally able to take up their love of journaling, writing and blogging along with photography and video to create YouTube channels and write for national travel magazines.

 

Active Retirement Community (The Not-Quite-Retired Brother)

Today’s retirement communities are NOT yesterday’s “old folks homes”. Baby Boomers have changed the scope of active retirement living. Whereas you may be living in a neighborhood right now with young families or technology millennials who never come out of their house, an experiential retirement community caters to adults over 55 who still have plenty of spunk in their steps to enjoy pickleball, tennis, golf, swimming and an active community where new friends are made. Imagine casting off the responsibilities of managing landscaping, navigating Bay Area traffic and home repairs and heading off into the sun and living the “active life”  in Palm Springs, Florida, Arizona, or Hawaii? These active communities tout that you can retire into a condo or small home and use it as a home base and travel. As an over 50 magazine says, “Your best years should never be behind you!” Your kids will love the photos of your new life hosting dinner parties with new friends, leisurely outdoor strolls or time on the links with a sun hat and smile on your face.

 

“Right-size” in the East Bay (My Goal)

Downsizing to a smaller home locally allows you to keep your friendship base, lessen your expenses, the kids will be able to find you, you can enjoy those favorite East Bay restaurants, AND you can move your property tax base with you using Proposition 60. We wrote a fantastic article about downsizing with more information about moving your tax base here: https://berkhills.com/tips-for-home-sellers/benefits-of-downsizing-from-your-east-bay-home/

Also, by moving to a new space, you can trade a two story home with a staircase for a single floor home or find a home or condo that has less maintenance needs to be able to comfortably live for many more years to come.

 

However you choose to spend the fall as an empty nester, know that Berkeley Hills Realty can lend a hand! We can assist you in a redesign/renovation of that new room and perhaps bathroom using our in-house designer and top-notch construction and renovation team who have proven results for adding substantial value to an East Bay home.  Thinking of selling? We can help you with a thoughtful plan for getting your home ready to capture top dollar so you can get on with the rest of your life so instead of wandering by an empty bedroom remembering a child who turned into an adult, you can be sitting under a palm tree by this time next year!